Top 5 Tips for Choosing a Suitable Nursery

Well, what a crazy few weeks it has been. Why does everything seem to happen at once? I have finally found work, coincidentally for the same company as Adam. With only being on minimum wage, you have to take everything into account. Nursery costs, travel costs, parking etc. They are all things that eat away at the pennies you finally get to bring home. Luckily, the store I will be working in is just ten minutes drive away, and Teddy's nursery is on the way. Perfect. The only way we could make the wage work, however, is how I had expected. One of our weekend family days has had to be sacrificed just to ensure I actually bring home a wage.

Nursery. I have to say, I am so pleasantly surprised at how well the whole finding a nursery, and Teddy settling in has gone. We chose the nursery based on a friends recommendation. For me the most important piece of information you could gain when choosing a nursery. It is such a lovely setting. Clean, bright, welcoming, all the staff are lovely and the children always seem so happy there. Teddy has a wonderful Key Worker who genuinely seems to love her job and care for the children. It's all you could ask for as a worrying parent. The nursery we chose also have an amazing settling in plan for the children who start there. So far, Teddy has been on three 2 hour visits (planned whilst the other children are napping so he has one-to-one care whilst getting used to his surroundings), 4 hours today, 6 hours tomorrow building up to a full day Thursday. We had tears Friday and today, but they reassured me after a few minutes he was fine and happily went to play with the other children. When we go to pick him up, he is absolutely full of beans with a huge smile on his face. It's a huge weight off my mind knowing he is in a safe place, being well looked after and having fun to boot. Phew!

My guide to choosing a suitable Nursery:

1. First and for most - Ask friends and family

Friends and families recommendations and advice are priceless. Asking the people you trust the most and have experience with nursery settings will narrow your search down. Ask them as much information about the staff, and their experience of the nursery as you can.

2. Check Ofsted report dates

Many nurseries now have huge banners outside boasting about their Outstanding Ofsted reports. Yes, those reports are invaluable to get an idea of how they follow the EYFS guidelines (Early Years Foundation Stage is the learning and development guidelines for all Under 5 Year Olds). However, Ofsted visits only happen once every 3/4 years, in which time the nursery could be under new management and could be a totally different place to how it was when the report was produced - So check the dates!

3. Have a tour round

Take the opportunity to take a tour around the nursery, with your child. Make sure to visit when the children are awake and playing to get a good feel for how the nursery work for the children already there. Is it clean? Secure? Are the staff welcoming? How do they interact with the children? Is there evidence of the children's artwork on the walls? It's your chance to have a really good nosy around and get a good feel for the place.

4. Ask questions.

Find out as much as you can. Ask about meal, snack and nap times. How will they track their development? What information will they relay to you, and in what format? What will their daily routine look like? If you forget anything, don't be afraid to ring and ask. The more information you have, the more comfortable you will feel to leave your child in their care.

5. Be positive!

It's so difficult to hand your child over to, essentially, strangers. You need to 100% comfortable with the nursery you have chosen. If you worry, and make a fuss when your child starts, they will pick up on it straight away and make the whole experience into a negative one. Be happy, talk about it, get them excited and be excited for them! They are about to start a whole new adventure outside the bubble that is your home, make new friends and learn new things. If your not happy, don't be afraid to consider changing nurseries. Just take into account notice periods are usually around 4 weeks.

Working parents... how do you do it?!

Childcare. Two words come to mind; expensive and scary. Finding a job that fits around our family life and pays enough to cover childcare is proving to be extremely difficult. 

When Teddy came along, we had planned for me to stay at home, which I have always wanted to do. My background is all in retail management, which means erratic hours and weekends, and with Adam working away a lot it's no longer viable as I would be the one responsible for getting Teddy to and from nursery. So my career went on the back burner (fine by me!). Sadly, bills need to be paid, so staying at home with my bear is no longer an option (insert cry emoji here!). For weeks now I've been given the task of finding a job that not only works around us, but also pays well. The elusive 9 to 5 job with a good wage for someone with only a retail background is living up to its name. How do people do it? How do families go out to work, pay for childcare and still come out with a decent wage at the end of the month? Minimum wage doesn't even come close. But that's the harsh reality of it. 

Nowadays, employers want one or two years experience of the role they are advertising for, to even be considered for the position. Do transferable skills account for anything? Not unless it's down on paper. 

Flexibility. Employers need you to be fully available for any 'shift' and cover sickness and holidays. When you have children, that luxury goes out the window. Especially when you are trying to cut down on childcare costs.

Working life just doesn't seem to be very supportive of families or working parents. I'd love to know how other families make it work, or have come across other hurdles. How do you do it?!

Autumn Walks and Fireworks

As I'm writing this, I am laying all snuggy and warm in bed after a lovely two hour nap, waiting for Teddy to wake from his.

Before Teddy, any opportunity to sneak a little snooze in, I'd take it. I love sleep. Adam has always said "You were born tired, hungry and cold!". But as any other parent in the world now knows, sleep goes out the window once you have children. I can only imagine it gets less and less the more children you have! Usually when Teddy goes down for his nap (which can be over two hours in the afternoon), it's a mad dash to get whatever housework or ironing done. Today I said Sod it and jumped into bed as soon as Teddy went down.

In an update from my last post, I'm pleased (and relieved) to say we are coming out the other side of the horrendous few weeks of lack of sleep and general bad tempered-ness we were experiencing. Teddy's finally sleeping through again and the meltdowns have subsided (not altogether... I still have a toddler remember!). Isn't it strange how when you look back on things, they don't seem as bad as when it was all happening? I can now look back and laugh at him screaming facedown on the floor because I dared to give him the wrong coloured cup. I can now smile back at the time he kicked off and threw all his toys on the floor because I wouldn't let him throw building blocks at me. A few weeks ago I wanted to be the one facedown on the fooor, balling my eyes out.

In an attempt to stop the tantrums and meltdowns, we have tried to keep Teddy busy. I think sometimes he gets bored with it being just the two of us through the week. So walks and visiting people have worked a treat!

On Saturday, it was of course Bonfire Night. We have never been quiet around Teddy (we fitted a brand new bathroom whilst he was napping in his room and it never woke him up) so we thought he would probably be fine, but you never know do you. Well he was totally mesmerised by the fireworks and wasn't at all phased by the really loud ones. I think I missed most of them just watching his reaction!

I haven't got this..

We have been so lucky with Teddy in terms of his sleep routine and general temperament. He's never really been a "crying" baby. When he does you know something is wrong. He's so happy, cheeky and generally always been a very easy baby. I've always thought right from day one "when is this meant to get hard?". I'm not suggesting, in the slightest, I am some wonderful and perfect Mum. Im far from. I didn't have a clue what I was doing. It was all either guess work or my inner voice asking "what would mum do?".

Just before Teddy was born, Adam got a promotion which meant from Monday morning through 'til Thursday he was working away. It was a pretty scary knowing after his paternity it would be just me and this tiny little vulnerable bundle for the majority of the week. The silver lining was it was from day one, so Teddy and I soon got into our own little routine (and it helped Mum was just round the corner!). It was all we had ever known so we just went with it.

But sometimes, it all falls apart and goes to pot. I'm used to getting a full nights sleep. Teddy goes to bed around 7.30pm, and wakes up 12 or so hours later. It's what he has done since he was 3 months old and went into his big cot in his own room. Yet occasionally, because he's ill, teething, out of routine, having a growth spurt, or just because, we have a "bad night". Obviously on each occasion this happens it can vary on just how much a "bad night" it may be.

Last night for example. He's full of cold, perhaps mixed with a little growth spurt and a hint of teething. If we rated it out of 10 (1 being a bit poop to 10 being OH MY GOD MY CHILD IS POSSESSED AND I JUST WANT TO SLEEP!), I'd probably rate it a good 9. I tried everything, and everything again. I always start from the top; cuddle, drink, food, In The Night Garden, story, bed. Nothing worked. He cried because the photo of his cousins wasn't where it usually is (he insisted on carrying it around with him earlier in the day rubbing his nose on it and lost it). He cried because I put In The Night Garden on and he wanted "coco!". Pocoyo obviously, what was I thinking?. He cried because I wouldn't let him roll off the edge of the bed. He cried because I wouldn't let him go outside, in the dark, at 2am. Adam was away and I was loosing the will to live. Eventually, at 3am he went to bed peacefully after having warm weetabix and a barney bear. I'd lost the strength to argue and ability to try and trick him into something more appropriate in the middle of the night. I woke up this morning feeling very beat, tired and in need of a hug.

I had high hopes of a better night tonight, but I already have a little bear out of bed. Wish me luck!

Nurseries and Dinosaurs

The last few days have been rather hectic. Sadly, my time as a full-time Mum is having to come to an end. Bills need to be paid, food needs to be out on the table and there is still so much to do to the house. I've absolutely loved having all this time with Teddy. He has turned into such a beautiful little boy, always making me smile and laugh, and has certainly kept me on my toes!

But now comes the scary and difficult task of searching for childcare. Where do I even begin? How do I know he will be safe, will get a cuddle when needed? Will the other children be nice to him? Will he eat and drink enough? How often will his nappy be changed? My worries and questions are never ending.

I know deep down he will be fine. He's so strong willed and fiercely independent. But as a mother, the worries just keep coming. So much so I struggled sleeping last night with the pressure of finding childcare suitable for him. I had just drifted off around 1am... when Teddy woke up crying and wanted to come in our bed (with Daisy and Igglepiggle of course!). We finally got settled again and back into our own beds around 2.30am, so I'm one sleepy mama today!

Yesterday, Teddy and I had a trip out into town for a cuppa with Nanny (my mummy), and to look for something smart to wear for my final interview. Teddy's Nanny treated him to a new dressing gown (he'd finally grown out of his 6-12month one and it's getting so cold!). We found an adorable one in Asda. I have to say my bear makes an adorable dinosaur! He is totally obsessed with it, moans when his hood falls down, and couldn't wait to get it on this morning.

As usual, we popped into the lovely independent toy shop to buy a few of the Lanka Kade wooden animals we collect for T; this time was a shark, goat and rhino (he has a tin devoted to his little collection). I adore wooden toys. They are so simple and ooze quality. You can really see Teddy's imagination come into play when he's sorting, standing them up, and remembering what noises they make. I love the idea that they will last forever, and potentially pass them down to his children; full of chips and scratches from his own toddler days.

<a href="https://www.bloglovin.com/blog/18294887/?claim=fnxw7ef7snj">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

Guys and Dolls

Today I treated Teddy to a pushchair to push his doll around in. Ive been looking for a while, trying to find a unisex or blue one for him (as much as him pushing a pink pushchair round doesn't bother me, it'd be nice to be anything but pink). Unless I wanted to pay around £40 for a mini version of a pram, there was only one blue pushchair from Amazon (good for you! But it was twice the price of a pink one. Boo.) 

I find it awful that in 2016, the whole pushchair-doll role playing is still very much seen as a "girl thing". I know there will be parents out there that will still feel uncomfortable for their son to play with dolls, pushchairs and toy kitchens (Teddy has one of these too and loves it), but there will be more (at least I hope so) with the same attitude as myself and Adam. Why can't he pretend to be Daddy, Grandad, a doting Uncle or just like dolls? Why can't he have a pushchair in the colour of his choice rather than pink, fuchsia or rose? And why should us parents have to hunt high and low for one and pay twice the price?

In the end I gave up and paid £7 for a pink one. Teddy doesn't care. I gave it to him when we took a trip to Nanny's, and other than stopping to do a little colouring and to watch Timmy Time, he didn't stop pushing it around. He doesn't care it's pink, he's 18 months. All he knows is he's having a good time.

Igglepiggle and Upsy Daisy

Turns out the "teething" symptoms may have been a virus after all. I now have it. Oh the joys of sharing germs. Teddy still isn't 100%, but is certainly getting back to his normal crazy, entertaining self.

When my Mum and Dad's grandchildren have been born, they have all received the gift of a special soft toy. My two nephews each have one, B a rabbit and L a dog. Teddy was given a lovely soft Brown Bear. However, T has never really taken to any soft toy, blanket or material object. He has always used his sleeve for comfort by rubbing it on his nose. It's so cute to watch, and one of his little quirks I love. No matter how much I've tried to get him to take to his Brown Bear, it is to no avail. He will always move him to the side, or sit him in the corner of his cot as if to say "he lives there Mummy!".

 

This week my Mum treated Teddy to an Igglepiggle and Upsy Daisy soft toy (from In The Night Garden if you other parents with little ones have been living under a rock the last ten or so years), what with him feeling all sorry for himself, and he loves them. They have been shopping, to the health visitors, he plays with them in the car and they go to bed with him every night. Is it a comfort thing whilst he's not well? I thought maybe it's because he recognises them from the television. No. His favourite programme is Bing and he has a soft toy of him and hardly notices he's there. He surprises me everyday.

Teeth and Scribble

Last week we had another first. Not exactly one I was looking forward to or particularly happy about. It certainly is true what they say, when a child is quiet, they are usually up to no good. 

Teddy and I had been colouring away on the floor, happy as larry. He loves colouring and has been perfecting his circles for the last week. As usual, he got distracted by another toy and off he wandered, so I took the opportunity to do some writing at the dining room table whilst he was happy entertaining himself.

After a while Teddy pops up beside me, and begins a game of hide and seek behind my chair, giggling every time I turned around. I twist round in my chair shouting "peep-bo!" for the millionth time...Where's Teddy? He was there a second ago... The curtain flutters. Ooohhh hiding behind the curtain now are we? No. No he wasn't. Out he runs, giggling with crayon in hand. In a split second he had grasped a crayon from the floor and scribbled on he wall behind the curtain. He knew perfectly well what he'd done by the look on his face and how he jumped when I pulled back the curtain. Thank goodness it's behind the curtain so you can't see it (I'm sure we will get round to painting it over eventually. Maybe. One day).

On a more sympathetic note...Teeth. What a pain in the bum those little pearly whites are. Teddy hasn't suffered too badly with his teeth coming through, but he has had his moments. From 3 months old he's been munching on his fingers (he never did really take to a teether), drooling bucket loads whilst having burning red rosy cheeks. He didn't cut his first tooth until he was 7 months and some popped through with hardly any trouble at all. 

The poor bear has been so off these last few days, with all the usual symptoms of teething. Sadly it's something us parents can only guess at as he can't tell us what is hurting, how he feels, and what he needs. All is pointing to his second set of molars coming through, but he's been so unwell you begin to wonder, is it his teeth? Is he poorly too? All I feel I can do for him is keep him dosed up on Calpol and offer lots of snuggles. You can never have too many cuddles in my opinion, and I'm getting them whilst I can.

Feeling guilty.

So Teddy is now 17 months old, running around the place, reeking havoc as he goes. As hard as this may be sometimes, I wouldn't have it any other way. T started walking at 14 and a half months ( when I say walking, what I really mean is running!). He's one of those toddlers that takes his time learning something new, but once he's got to grips with it there is no stopping him. The pram will soon become redundant (he gets his stubborness from both sides of his family) and the one of the best things we ever bought him is his Little Life Tigger rucksack and reins. 

However, along with this amazing developmental step and new found freedom and discovery, comes trips, falls and bumps. The tears are bad enough when T has just fallen and bumped his head, but so much worse when it's your rather large bottom that has caused it. 

Take a few days ago, for instance. I was getting ready to go out ensuring I have all the paraphernalia that comes with taking a toddler out of the house, when I turned towards the front door (not realising there was a little silent ninja behind me) and T went flying into the door frame resulting in a giant egg on his head. I WAS MORTIFIED!! The overwhelming sense of guilt is, I am sure, just as heartbreaking for me as it is with every other parent. All you want to do is cover them with kisses and hug them forever but it still doesn't seem enough. You only start feeling slightly better when they forget about it and carry on playing as if nothing happened. I love just how robust children are. Adults continue feeling sorry for themselves, moaning to anyone who will listen (myself included!). Kids just brush themselves off and get on with whatever distracts them.

One thing I have learnt being a Mum, is nothing should ever surprise you. I know we are all biased about our children being the the best at everything, the most beautiful tiny person you have ever seen and just generally awesome! 

Yesterday, T yet again surprised me by showing just how good his fine motor skills are by stickering without me even having to show him how to do it. Isn't it strange how the most simplist of things we take for granted every child can do, makes you so proud of them when they do it. I've now promised myself not to just assume he is too young to try something new, to let him have a go.

17 Months Later...

Well hello there! So, I've been meaning to start a blog all about my journey through motherhood ever since my Teddy came along (17 months ago!), and as like every other Mum I just never seemed to find the time to sit down and start writing. What better way to start than after being woken up at 6am on a Saturday morning by your crying toddler!

So I guess I had better start by introducing myself and my little family.

My name is Holly, I am 28 years old and have been married for three years to my husband Adam. In August 2014 we found out (quite by surprise) we were expecting our first baby and could not have been happier. Roll on nine months later (bare with me as I delete the gobbledygook Teddy has just typed with pokey little fingers and rolling his toy car over the keyboard), a few trips to MAU and an inducement, my beautiful boy Theodore Adam Carter Evans was born at 6.17pm on 10th April 2015 weighing 6lbs 10oz (one day I will share by birth story I'm sure). 17 months later and I am lucky enough to be able to spend everyday with him.

So this is us, this will be our story, experiences, ups and downs, giggles and tantrums, and everything in between...