Where has 3 months gone?!

Wow, I really slipped with blogging when I started work! Just goes to show even working part time just takes over your life with a toddler.

It's mad just how fast time has gone. I've been working for just over 3 months now. Christmas has been and gone, I've passed my probationary period and it's just six weeks to Teddy's second birthday! Other than that, I have to say not much else has happened. It's just been a focus on getting into a routine to ensure I get Teddy and myself to where we need to be on time.
Thank goodness Teddy absolutely loves nursery. He goes in just 3 days a week and has made lots of little friends. He knows when he's going and asks to see the babies, and even gets upset when it's our day off and he has to spend the day with me. Charming! I'm just so happy and relieved at just how much he loves going. It's really helped with his development in all areas and getting him used to not being with me twenty-four-seven.

It feels awful to admit, but I've really enjoyed getting back into work. As much as a love being with Teddy and miss him when I'm not with him, it's lovely to be out of the nappy and dinner time routines for a few hours, to have uninterrupted adult conversation and to feel like I'm succeeding at something. The guilt eases a little seeing his happy little face when I go and pick him up from nursery, the way he jumps up and runs to me with his hands in the air, all excited. It's my favourite part of the day finding out how he's been and what he's been up to.

Sundays have now become our family day. It was difficult to begin with to muster the energy to do anything, with working through the week myself, and Adam watching over Teddy on the Saturday. We just wanted to curl up and have a lazy day. But the last few weeks we have made the effort to get out the house and go for walks. Teddys been in his element, but a got a little annoyed at the ducks last week because they didn't want his Pom bears. Fussy little buggers.

Top 5 Tips for Choosing a Suitable Nursery

Well, what a crazy few weeks it has been. Why does everything seem to happen at once? I have finally found work, coincidentally for the same company as Adam. With only being on minimum wage, you have to take everything into account. Nursery costs, travel costs, parking etc. They are all things that eat away at the pennies you finally get to bring home. Luckily, the store I will be working in is just ten minutes drive away, and Teddy's nursery is on the way. Perfect. The only way we could make the wage work, however, is how I had expected. One of our weekend family days has had to be sacrificed just to ensure I actually bring home a wage.

Nursery. I have to say, I am so pleasantly surprised at how well the whole finding a nursery, and Teddy settling in has gone. We chose the nursery based on a friends recommendation. For me the most important piece of information you could gain when choosing a nursery. It is such a lovely setting. Clean, bright, welcoming, all the staff are lovely and the children always seem so happy there. Teddy has a wonderful Key Worker who genuinely seems to love her job and care for the children. It's all you could ask for as a worrying parent. The nursery we chose also have an amazing settling in plan for the children who start there. So far, Teddy has been on three 2 hour visits (planned whilst the other children are napping so he has one-to-one care whilst getting used to his surroundings), 4 hours today, 6 hours tomorrow building up to a full day Thursday. We had tears Friday and today, but they reassured me after a few minutes he was fine and happily went to play with the other children. When we go to pick him up, he is absolutely full of beans with a huge smile on his face. It's a huge weight off my mind knowing he is in a safe place, being well looked after and having fun to boot. Phew!

My guide to choosing a suitable Nursery:

1. First and for most - Ask friends and family

Friends and families recommendations and advice are priceless. Asking the people you trust the most and have experience with nursery settings will narrow your search down. Ask them as much information about the staff, and their experience of the nursery as you can.

2. Check Ofsted report dates

Many nurseries now have huge banners outside boasting about their Outstanding Ofsted reports. Yes, those reports are invaluable to get an idea of how they follow the EYFS guidelines (Early Years Foundation Stage is the learning and development guidelines for all Under 5 Year Olds). However, Ofsted visits only happen once every 3/4 years, in which time the nursery could be under new management and could be a totally different place to how it was when the report was produced - So check the dates!

3. Have a tour round

Take the opportunity to take a tour around the nursery, with your child. Make sure to visit when the children are awake and playing to get a good feel for how the nursery work for the children already there. Is it clean? Secure? Are the staff welcoming? How do they interact with the children? Is there evidence of the children's artwork on the walls? It's your chance to have a really good nosy around and get a good feel for the place.

4. Ask questions.

Find out as much as you can. Ask about meal, snack and nap times. How will they track their development? What information will they relay to you, and in what format? What will their daily routine look like? If you forget anything, don't be afraid to ring and ask. The more information you have, the more comfortable you will feel to leave your child in their care.

5. Be positive!

It's so difficult to hand your child over to, essentially, strangers. You need to 100% comfortable with the nursery you have chosen. If you worry, and make a fuss when your child starts, they will pick up on it straight away and make the whole experience into a negative one. Be happy, talk about it, get them excited and be excited for them! They are about to start a whole new adventure outside the bubble that is your home, make new friends and learn new things. If your not happy, don't be afraid to consider changing nurseries. Just take into account notice periods are usually around 4 weeks.

Working parents... how do you do it?!

Childcare. Two words come to mind; expensive and scary. Finding a job that fits around our family life and pays enough to cover childcare is proving to be extremely difficult. 

When Teddy came along, we had planned for me to stay at home, which I have always wanted to do. My background is all in retail management, which means erratic hours and weekends, and with Adam working away a lot it's no longer viable as I would be the one responsible for getting Teddy to and from nursery. So my career went on the back burner (fine by me!). Sadly, bills need to be paid, so staying at home with my bear is no longer an option (insert cry emoji here!). For weeks now I've been given the task of finding a job that not only works around us, but also pays well. The elusive 9 to 5 job with a good wage for someone with only a retail background is living up to its name. How do people do it? How do families go out to work, pay for childcare and still come out with a decent wage at the end of the month? Minimum wage doesn't even come close. But that's the harsh reality of it. 

Nowadays, employers want one or two years experience of the role they are advertising for, to even be considered for the position. Do transferable skills account for anything? Not unless it's down on paper. 

Flexibility. Employers need you to be fully available for any 'shift' and cover sickness and holidays. When you have children, that luxury goes out the window. Especially when you are trying to cut down on childcare costs.

Working life just doesn't seem to be very supportive of families or working parents. I'd love to know how other families make it work, or have come across other hurdles. How do you do it?!

Autumn Walks and Fireworks

As I'm writing this, I am laying all snuggy and warm in bed after a lovely two hour nap, waiting for Teddy to wake from his.

Before Teddy, any opportunity to sneak a little snooze in, I'd take it. I love sleep. Adam has always said "You were born tired, hungry and cold!". But as any other parent in the world now knows, sleep goes out the window once you have children. I can only imagine it gets less and less the more children you have! Usually when Teddy goes down for his nap (which can be over two hours in the afternoon), it's a mad dash to get whatever housework or ironing done. Today I said Sod it and jumped into bed as soon as Teddy went down.

In an update from my last post, I'm pleased (and relieved) to say we are coming out the other side of the horrendous few weeks of lack of sleep and general bad tempered-ness we were experiencing. Teddy's finally sleeping through again and the meltdowns have subsided (not altogether... I still have a toddler remember!). Isn't it strange how when you look back on things, they don't seem as bad as when it was all happening? I can now look back and laugh at him screaming facedown on the floor because I dared to give him the wrong coloured cup. I can now smile back at the time he kicked off and threw all his toys on the floor because I wouldn't let him throw building blocks at me. A few weeks ago I wanted to be the one facedown on the fooor, balling my eyes out.

In an attempt to stop the tantrums and meltdowns, we have tried to keep Teddy busy. I think sometimes he gets bored with it being just the two of us through the week. So walks and visiting people have worked a treat!

On Saturday, it was of course Bonfire Night. We have never been quiet around Teddy (we fitted a brand new bathroom whilst he was napping in his room and it never woke him up) so we thought he would probably be fine, but you never know do you. Well he was totally mesmerised by the fireworks and wasn't at all phased by the really loud ones. I think I missed most of them just watching his reaction!

I haven't got this..

We have been so lucky with Teddy in terms of his sleep routine and general temperament. He's never really been a "crying" baby. When he does you know something is wrong. He's so happy, cheeky and generally always been a very easy baby. I've always thought right from day one "when is this meant to get hard?". I'm not suggesting, in the slightest, I am some wonderful and perfect Mum. Im far from. I didn't have a clue what I was doing. It was all either guess work or my inner voice asking "what would mum do?".

Just before Teddy was born, Adam got a promotion which meant from Monday morning through 'til Thursday he was working away. It was a pretty scary knowing after his paternity it would be just me and this tiny little vulnerable bundle for the majority of the week. The silver lining was it was from day one, so Teddy and I soon got into our own little routine (and it helped Mum was just round the corner!). It was all we had ever known so we just went with it.

But sometimes, it all falls apart and goes to pot. I'm used to getting a full nights sleep. Teddy goes to bed around 7.30pm, and wakes up 12 or so hours later. It's what he has done since he was 3 months old and went into his big cot in his own room. Yet occasionally, because he's ill, teething, out of routine, having a growth spurt, or just because, we have a "bad night". Obviously on each occasion this happens it can vary on just how much a "bad night" it may be.

Last night for example. He's full of cold, perhaps mixed with a little growth spurt and a hint of teething. If we rated it out of 10 (1 being a bit poop to 10 being OH MY GOD MY CHILD IS POSSESSED AND I JUST WANT TO SLEEP!), I'd probably rate it a good 9. I tried everything, and everything again. I always start from the top; cuddle, drink, food, In The Night Garden, story, bed. Nothing worked. He cried because the photo of his cousins wasn't where it usually is (he insisted on carrying it around with him earlier in the day rubbing his nose on it and lost it). He cried because I put In The Night Garden on and he wanted "coco!". Pocoyo obviously, what was I thinking?. He cried because I wouldn't let him roll off the edge of the bed. He cried because I wouldn't let him go outside, in the dark, at 2am. Adam was away and I was loosing the will to live. Eventually, at 3am he went to bed peacefully after having warm weetabix and a barney bear. I'd lost the strength to argue and ability to try and trick him into something more appropriate in the middle of the night. I woke up this morning feeling very beat, tired and in need of a hug.

I had high hopes of a better night tonight, but I already have a little bear out of bed. Wish me luck!

Nurseries and Dinosaurs

The last few days have been rather hectic. Sadly, my time as a full-time Mum is having to come to an end. Bills need to be paid, food needs to be out on the table and there is still so much to do to the house. I've absolutely loved having all this time with Teddy. He has turned into such a beautiful little boy, always making me smile and laugh, and has certainly kept me on my toes!

But now comes the scary and difficult task of searching for childcare. Where do I even begin? How do I know he will be safe, will get a cuddle when needed? Will the other children be nice to him? Will he eat and drink enough? How often will his nappy be changed? My worries and questions are never ending.

I know deep down he will be fine. He's so strong willed and fiercely independent. But as a mother, the worries just keep coming. So much so I struggled sleeping last night with the pressure of finding childcare suitable for him. I had just drifted off around 1am... when Teddy woke up crying and wanted to come in our bed (with Daisy and Igglepiggle of course!). We finally got settled again and back into our own beds around 2.30am, so I'm one sleepy mama today!

Yesterday, Teddy and I had a trip out into town for a cuppa with Nanny (my mummy), and to look for something smart to wear for my final interview. Teddy's Nanny treated him to a new dressing gown (he'd finally grown out of his 6-12month one and it's getting so cold!). We found an adorable one in Asda. I have to say my bear makes an adorable dinosaur! He is totally obsessed with it, moans when his hood falls down, and couldn't wait to get it on this morning.

As usual, we popped into the lovely independent toy shop to buy a few of the Lanka Kade wooden animals we collect for T; this time was a shark, goat and rhino (he has a tin devoted to his little collection). I adore wooden toys. They are so simple and ooze quality. You can really see Teddy's imagination come into play when he's sorting, standing them up, and remembering what noises they make. I love the idea that they will last forever, and potentially pass them down to his children; full of chips and scratches from his own toddler days.

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Guys and Dolls

Today I treated Teddy to a pushchair to push his doll around in. Ive been looking for a while, trying to find a unisex or blue one for him (as much as him pushing a pink pushchair round doesn't bother me, it'd be nice to be anything but pink). Unless I wanted to pay around £40 for a mini version of a pram, there was only one blue pushchair from Amazon (good for you! But it was twice the price of a pink one. Boo.) 

I find it awful that in 2016, the whole pushchair-doll role playing is still very much seen as a "girl thing". I know there will be parents out there that will still feel uncomfortable for their son to play with dolls, pushchairs and toy kitchens (Teddy has one of these too and loves it), but there will be more (at least I hope so) with the same attitude as myself and Adam. Why can't he pretend to be Daddy, Grandad, a doting Uncle or just like dolls? Why can't he have a pushchair in the colour of his choice rather than pink, fuchsia or rose? And why should us parents have to hunt high and low for one and pay twice the price?

In the end I gave up and paid £7 for a pink one. Teddy doesn't care. I gave it to him when we took a trip to Nanny's, and other than stopping to do a little colouring and to watch Timmy Time, he didn't stop pushing it around. He doesn't care it's pink, he's 18 months. All he knows is he's having a good time.