I haven't got this..

We have been so lucky with Teddy in terms of his sleep routine and general temperament. He's never really been a "crying" baby. When he does you know something is wrong. He's so happy, cheeky and generally always been a very easy baby. I've always thought right from day one "when is this meant to get hard?". I'm not suggesting, in the slightest, I am some wonderful and perfect Mum. Im far from. I didn't have a clue what I was doing. It was all either guess work or my inner voice asking "what would mum do?".

Just before Teddy was born, Adam got a promotion which meant from Monday morning through 'til Thursday he was working away. It was a pretty scary knowing after his paternity it would be just me and this tiny little vulnerable bundle for the majority of the week. The silver lining was it was from day one, so Teddy and I soon got into our own little routine (and it helped Mum was just round the corner!). It was all we had ever known so we just went with it.

But sometimes, it all falls apart and goes to pot. I'm used to getting a full nights sleep. Teddy goes to bed around 7.30pm, and wakes up 12 or so hours later. It's what he has done since he was 3 months old and went into his big cot in his own room. Yet occasionally, because he's ill, teething, out of routine, having a growth spurt, or just because, we have a "bad night". Obviously on each occasion this happens it can vary on just how much a "bad night" it may be.

Last night for example. He's full of cold, perhaps mixed with a little growth spurt and a hint of teething. If we rated it out of 10 (1 being a bit poop to 10 being OH MY GOD MY CHILD IS POSSESSED AND I JUST WANT TO SLEEP!), I'd probably rate it a good 9. I tried everything, and everything again. I always start from the top; cuddle, drink, food, In The Night Garden, story, bed. Nothing worked. He cried because the photo of his cousins wasn't where it usually is (he insisted on carrying it around with him earlier in the day rubbing his nose on it and lost it). He cried because I put In The Night Garden on and he wanted "coco!". Pocoyo obviously, what was I thinking?. He cried because I wouldn't let him roll off the edge of the bed. He cried because I wouldn't let him go outside, in the dark, at 2am. Adam was away and I was loosing the will to live. Eventually, at 3am he went to bed peacefully after having warm weetabix and a barney bear. I'd lost the strength to argue and ability to try and trick him into something more appropriate in the middle of the night. I woke up this morning feeling very beat, tired and in need of a hug.

I had high hopes of a better night tonight, but I already have a little bear out of bed. Wish me luck!

Nurseries and Dinosaurs

The last few days have been rather hectic. Sadly, my time as a full-time Mum is having to come to an end. Bills need to be paid, food needs to be out on the table and there is still so much to do to the house. I've absolutely loved having all this time with Teddy. He has turned into such a beautiful little boy, always making me smile and laugh, and has certainly kept me on my toes!

But now comes the scary and difficult task of searching for childcare. Where do I even begin? How do I know he will be safe, will get a cuddle when needed? Will the other children be nice to him? Will he eat and drink enough? How often will his nappy be changed? My worries and questions are never ending.

I know deep down he will be fine. He's so strong willed and fiercely independent. But as a mother, the worries just keep coming. So much so I struggled sleeping last night with the pressure of finding childcare suitable for him. I had just drifted off around 1am... when Teddy woke up crying and wanted to come in our bed (with Daisy and Igglepiggle of course!). We finally got settled again and back into our own beds around 2.30am, so I'm one sleepy mama today!

Yesterday, Teddy and I had a trip out into town for a cuppa with Nanny (my mummy), and to look for something smart to wear for my final interview. Teddy's Nanny treated him to a new dressing gown (he'd finally grown out of his 6-12month one and it's getting so cold!). We found an adorable one in Asda. I have to say my bear makes an adorable dinosaur! He is totally obsessed with it, moans when his hood falls down, and couldn't wait to get it on this morning.

As usual, we popped into the lovely independent toy shop to buy a few of the Lanka Kade wooden animals we collect for T; this time was a shark, goat and rhino (he has a tin devoted to his little collection). I adore wooden toys. They are so simple and ooze quality. You can really see Teddy's imagination come into play when he's sorting, standing them up, and remembering what noises they make. I love the idea that they will last forever, and potentially pass them down to his children; full of chips and scratches from his own toddler days.

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Igglepiggle and Upsy Daisy

Turns out the "teething" symptoms may have been a virus after all. I now have it. Oh the joys of sharing germs. Teddy still isn't 100%, but is certainly getting back to his normal crazy, entertaining self.

When my Mum and Dad's grandchildren have been born, they have all received the gift of a special soft toy. My two nephews each have one, B a rabbit and L a dog. Teddy was given a lovely soft Brown Bear. However, T has never really taken to any soft toy, blanket or material object. He has always used his sleeve for comfort by rubbing it on his nose. It's so cute to watch, and one of his little quirks I love. No matter how much I've tried to get him to take to his Brown Bear, it is to no avail. He will always move him to the side, or sit him in the corner of his cot as if to say "he lives there Mummy!".

 

This week my Mum treated Teddy to an Igglepiggle and Upsy Daisy soft toy (from In The Night Garden if you other parents with little ones have been living under a rock the last ten or so years), what with him feeling all sorry for himself, and he loves them. They have been shopping, to the health visitors, he plays with them in the car and they go to bed with him every night. Is it a comfort thing whilst he's not well? I thought maybe it's because he recognises them from the television. No. His favourite programme is Bing and he has a soft toy of him and hardly notices he's there. He surprises me everyday.